This week- meaning Monday and Tuesday because that is all of the week that has actually passed so far- has not been a fun one. I don't like not having fun. There is no one real reason for all my unhappiness this week- I just am.
I am lonely. I sit in my flat- alone. I attend lectures- alone. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner- alone. I am a social person. I need people. This week, due to the invention of finals, I have no people anywhere. lame.
Yesterday I was watching South Park. Yes, I am now a fan of moments in South Park. Anyway, Stan's girlfriend broke up with him to be with Token. Shame, poor guy. Stan's construction paper heart was broken. He became so enchanted with pain, he decided to be goth. (It was hilarious. The episode was called Raisins if you are interested!) He moped and he wrote poetry. He felt generally sorry for himself. Then, poor Butters, his girlfriend dumped him too. The two meet up and Butters tells Stan that even though he is sad, he is experiencing a beautiful sadness. Butters knew that in order to feel so sad he needed to have to ability to feel so happy in order to compare the two. There is some strange truth to that.
And so I'll mope. I'll do my lame-ass Spanish oral exam, and my lame-ass Spanish projects and I may or may not pass (depending on my weirdo lecturer's mood) and I'll be alone. In my loneliness I'll try to see the sunshine. Maybe I'll go dance in the African rainstorms. Sometimes I have to decide to be happy. While I don't feel joy today I cannot allow the darkness to swallow me... Fighting. This month has been about fighting and today I will fight the blackness...and maybe the conjugations of verbs. :)