Keyword Wednesday

It's that time. The time when all your secrets are displayed on my stat counter. I know what you searched for to find me.

These are the recent keywords that readers have used to find me on Google.

Sometime I've gotta wonder...

1. Messy Beauty- This obviously links to Klara's Blog. But seriously. When I looked it up on google I got nothing but random ridiculous searches. What are you looking for?!?!(Unless you are looking for Klara's blog. And if that's the case, go check it out!)

2. One day as slave- we we forced to harvest tabacco. Are you serious?!

3. guyus as slaves- Sounds like porn to me! Try again later.

4. Tea for my aching tummy- Rooibos (or red bush)tea, honey. Does it every time.

5. letting go- It's hard. But a good Facebook clean out does wonders!

6. stood up quotes- If you don't stand up for something then you'll fall for anthing.

7. Best friend getting married letter- Glad they found me. I could totally help with that. Not.

8. mullet with a farmers tan - Oh the wonders of the internet

9. dahlingitsme- Hi.

10. oh my tummy aches- Why are you tellin Google?

11. funny crap to say- Now this is something I can help with!

12. why do people meddle?- Why the heck should I know?!

13. "the day of destiny" - Tada!

14. How to make my husband a slave- Um.

Pretty Nutso me thinks.

Sometimes we all need a little giggle.

Third week of surpressed joy.

But this cartoon unleashed it! :)

**image via whiteninja.com

My calling is The Calling

I have really cool taste in music. I won't lie.

I can literally mosh with the metalheads (or Hubs whatevs.)

Or Swoon with the lovers...

Or dance like the hooker on the bar to Kanye West. If you catch me with one too many anythings, I'll be

Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo

Ahem.

I have really cool taste in music.

And Rock is my passion. Maybe it's the three guitars that take residence in our home that gives Hubs and I away as rockers or the slammin' guitar solos screeching from my Hifi or perhaps its my pierced and tattooed body that make the sweet, nice kids run from us.

But behind this...ahem... rough and tough... music genre facade, I have a sweet spot for one of the girliest bands that has ever graced the rock scene.

The Calling.

Where did I meet them?

In my favourite chick flick. Coyote Ugly.

Sigh.

This is my favourite song by them. Go check it out and mock me later!

Have a fabulous friday everyone!

Because I live food.

One of my favourite Easter treats can’t be found in South Africa.


Peeps complete my life.


For a wonderful Easter gift my aunt who resides in Florida sent my mother 15 boxes of Peeps. Today she shared one tray with me.

Life is glorious mainly because the sugary goodness is staring at me at my office desk reminding me that it is still a few more hours until lunch.

Once lunch passes they will remind me that I neeeeed to go back home.

Even just to stock up on my favourites.

Why are peeps so awesome you may ask?

Check what they can do!


And even



Rock on Peeps. Rock freakin’ on.

What is your favourite holiday treat?

I like camping

I am really looking forward to this weekend. Its a 5 day weekend for me mostly because my company is taking off Monday and tuesdays is a Public Holiday. This is rad. My family and some friends of the family are all going to make a noise and party til the break of dawn. The Fi can only come part time since his silly boss demands he works on the Monday. Dumb.

So in essence tonight I will look like this



Except in colour. And there will be many more people. woohoo!

My top Seven Favourite things about camping are:

1. The Food. I don't eat bread, chocolate, or any other carbohydrate and I haven't for a month. This wedding means weight loss means no bread or anything like that. So camping means braais! (BBQs) and Potjies! (stewish stuff) and biltong (beef jerky but yummier!)

2. The Fire. burn baby burn.

3. The company. Camping means lots of friends which means lots of laughter and games! which brings me to numero 4

4. Games! I am the poker champion. Bring it on boys!

5. The Fiance. Obviously camping with him is great!

6. The wildlife. I love the possibility that a rhino will crash into my tent. (or not)

7. Camping makes me feel wild and unpredictable. I am just that hardcore!

Life in the Big City

This post was saved and I accidently posted it early before I was ready for it to be read. I am sorry if you read it before I could remove it. My comedic genius was working on making it funny (obviously!)...

Yes I do realise that Pretoria (or Tshwane as we are to now call it) is far from a thrilling city. Full of the backwardness of poor city planning I am now knee-deep in dutchmen-ville. I do get teased for the way my South African accent is turning more Afrikaans and that I no longer need to read the subtitles of 7 de Laan. I say things like 'too much of' , 'ja', and I have even caught myself saying the dreaded, 'Can like to be'. My grammar has gone out the window. All because I study English at TUKKIES! (too bad I can't record the way that has to be said. Because there is a way to say it so that is sounds strong powerful and very Afrikaans.)

So, that leads to today's thought. These are my top 13 tips to living as an American in Pretoria.

1. Don't tell anyone that you are American. Either they will ask you something retarded like whether or not you know Oprah or their third cousin twice removed who lives in Canada, or they will try to rip you off trying to make you think that you have to pay to walk on the sidewalk.

2. Don't leave your windows open at the traffic lights. The beggars/hawkers will reach into your car and steal your stuff. And you probably like your stuff and don't want to chase a one or two legged man down the street just to get your cellphone back.

3. Try not to speak. You accent will give your nationality away. See Number 1.

4. Learn Afrikaans. It is a lot of fun to eavesdrop when no one knows you understand what they are talking about. Hours of entertainment here... Especially when you get the luck of them talking about you while you are in the room.

5. Don't drink the water. No, really, I think someone might have died in the reserve they pump it from. When people drink it for extended periods of time they begin to like Steve Hofmeyer and adore Vernon Koekemoer and say things like 'Can like to be'.

6. One word. Loftus. Avoid it and the traffic created by it.

7. Don't bother trying to find parking. Walk everywhere. Sure it might be more dangerous, but if you take your car it will most likely get stolen then you will have to walk home anyway.

8. If someone says 'for you my friend I'll give you special price' understand one thing. You are not their friend, everyone gets the 'special' price and you are most likely getting ripped off.

9. Buy a new map book every 6 weeks. Pretty soon after all the name changes you won't know where you are going. Ever. Try and keep ahead of the game.

10. Don't give money to ANC supporters. Despite failed promises, a collapsing economy and increase after increase in everything from the 60% increase in electricity prices to the incredibly ridiculous taxes to interest rates they will continue to vote ANC until they die.

11. Learn how to ride a dead horse. You have to deal with things not working. Broken this and that, Bank systems will be offline and even power outages when you want to cook dinner/dry your hair. If you understand how to ride a dead horse maybe you will cope easier with all the dead things in Tshwane.

12. Eat at Po's Kitchen. It's the best Chinese in the world. Expect maybe in China. And say hi to Po for me!

13. Don't carry money while you walk home. Spend it all while you shop. Black people who are dressed better than you, who actually still have a car and have their party of choice in government will probably stop you and give you a long story about their brother's sister's cousin's child who is hungry and how a neighbor gave him a meal and now he needs money to buy a thank you gift to the child's neighbor. Confused? I was too.

Missing the Rainy State

Sometimes I really miss Oregon. REALLY miss it. I found this list (thanks mom!) and had to share it for some joy!! You know you are from Oregon when....

1. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
2. You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
3. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
4. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
5. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
6. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
7. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
8. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.
9. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
10. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark—while only working eight-hour days.
11. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
12. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
13. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation
14. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
15. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
16. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
17. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
18. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
19. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
20. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from california
21. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
22. You measure distance in hours.
23. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
24. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
25. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.
26. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
27. You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.
28. Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home.
29. You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.
30. You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
31. A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
32. You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
33. Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.
34. You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.
35. You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.
36. You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.
37. You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.
38. Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.
39. You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.
40. Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner's policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides
41. You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.
42. Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing."
43. You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there....once...
44. You know that Burgerville has the best hamburgers...ever.
45. You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84.
46. You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.
47. You know where Astoria is.
48. You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off.
49. You love going to the Original Pancake House....because its original....
50. You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.
51. Were excited when the Crater lake, Oregon quarter came out.
52. You went to Washington Square....just to eat lunch at Panda Express...or Scoozi.
53. You love the smell of rain.
54. You are the only person in the line at the grocery store who asks for paper, not plastic (because while paper "kills trees" it is recyclable, and plastic bags will sit in our landfills for the next millennia).
55. You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch.
56. You have been to camp 18...or just driven by it.
57. You are sad during christmas because it never snows in the valley.
58. You know where the valley is.
59. You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.
60. Your state and local legislatures are republican but your state executives and national representatives are democrat.
61. You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.
62. You smile at people you don't know as you walk by them on the sidwalk.
63. People call you a hippy and you just smile because you can't hear them over the grape-nuts.
64. you make subtle remarks about washington drivers, but save your real road rage for california drivers.
65. You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal.
66. You yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.
67. You know that it is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.

Fat Day surviver

Today is a 'fat day'. I have some days where I put on everything in my closet... and nothing looks good. Nothing feels particularly good either. Everything is scratchy or tight or ichy or too hot or too cold or...or...or... it is not fun. In fact, it rather sucks.

I will admit with pride at the end of today...I survived the Fat Day of 17 October 2009. So fat day surrender! I shall be victorious!!

Philosophy? I gather not.

There are these massive philisophical debates going around. (Okay most originate in my head) Regardless of who I am debating against, I am sifting through all these philosophical ideas to decifer where I fit in this theoretical jargon...

I must admit, I love Calvin and Hobbes. In one cartoon Calvin said it best,

'Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles' Thank you Calvin- for making sense of it all...