My blood.

U2 frontman Bono once said: "My definition of art started with: you put your hands under your skin, you break your breastbone, you rip open your ribcage. If you really want to write, that’s what you ought to do. Are you ready to do that? Or is rock ‘n’ roll for you just a pair of shoes and a haircut, or a certain sour existentialism or a certain sweet decay? That is one of my first definitions of art. Blood."

This is my blood.

My intentions when I wrote this poem where to echo my current thoughts in certain post-modernistic thinking. I did this in two ways. Firstly, following the belief that everything that is created has already been created before, I used either a line from another poem, another song or another work of art for each individual line. I also tried to allow the cyclical nature of the subject matter of the poem to further echo this sentiment. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!



A Love Song for a Saviour

Tarnished with things unseen

I’m taking the blame

Since the words to comfort

Suddenly rebel at questioning.


Longest I’ve been impermanent

Unsettled and unkind

Shuffle to grace

Summon my demons

Just to push them away…


Falling silent

To stumble...

Grapple with heaven’s mercies

Simple and stained

Searching remains to find you again.


Love’s soft breath strokes the cheek

In time to find…

Resolved, I am to love you

With whatever means are mine.

The one whereby I steal Scoman's ideas

Don't misunderstand. I am totally anti-plagerism. However... I need to theive. Kleptomania... sometimes takes over me....

Scoman mentioned in on of his posts that there is going to be a top post link list on his blog and now I WANT IT!

So please nominate Your favourite posts of mine. I'll put them up on a post to vote for your #1.

I am just that narssastic... I know it's the one with my looking h.o.t. right?

Or the one about the Moose?

Or the one about being Naked?

Come on... Nominate... :) Top 3 get permalinks in my sidebar. :)

xxoo (btw 3 days until my birthday and some sembalance of a giveaway! :) )

The one when I tell you the story of the new profile picure

I loaded it. The Fi looks over and says, "You shouldn't post pictures of you in the shower."

I am not naked. I am actually wearing my wedding dress... but that had to be cut off because I don't want the Fi to see... But I could tell him that either. Now he thinks I post naked pics online. Does that make me an online visual escort? I sure hope not.

The End

How off beat are you?

I like to throw spanners. Metaphorical spanners of course... I'm not too sure what an actual spanner actually looks like.

But I digress.

I'm not to into the 'traditionality' of anything. It's a wonder that I stayed in res as long as I did. (My res was really just a sorority with a different name and more booze. And more traditions. and more booze)

This has been a bit of a heater when it comes to the wedding. Well meaning familiy members are concerned about the untraditional elements in my wedding and the strangeness that is me. All I have to say to them is "merr". Which is not an acronym for anything but rather a sound emitted by the non-caring.

I go to church and have piercings and a tattoo. You would probably guess this, so it probably won't come as a surprise, but I have been told no less than 3 times in the last few months that I may or may not be going to Hell for 'disgracing' my temple. Merrr.

All in all, I have elements of myself that do not fit into the classic labels that I have either adopted or been forced into.

But what I am not into is the contest to show off how off beat (weird?!) I am. Not into this. My little bro is big into labels. He's 17. Who can blame him?

This irritates me to no end. If I hear about how 'jock' something is. Or how 'emo' or how freakin' 'preppy' something is, I may or may not rip out my gullet and slap him with it.

My conversations are usually:

Me: What are your opinions of the guy across the street?

Yoshi: He's such a jock I totally hate him.

Me: And his sister?

Yoshi: Ah she's ok.

Me: Why is she ok and not her brother?

Yoshi: *looks at me like my brain is dripping from my ears* because she's metal.

It's fantastic that he says this. Because then I get images of metal people.



I full-on don't understand why you would want to put yourself into a certain label. Every person I have met is more complex than any label.

So I am asking you, (if you are still reading this) what labels have you adopted? Why have you adopted them and why you don't actually fit into this label?

Merry Christmas eve!

The title pretty much says what I wish to say. Have a wonderful holiday today and tommorrow. Drive safely, drink responsibly and all the rest of it. :)

Until I see ya'll again! xxoo

My Christmas List

With a lot of nudgings from the family and the Fi, I have created The ULTIMATE Christmas List.

Read on and buy. Thank you very much!

The most Legendary Christmas List:

1. Johnny Depp. 'nuff said.



Yummy.

2. A Jack Russell puppy. Preferably super cute. And house trained.



Thanks.

3. A Personal Concert from the Dave Matthews Band. I choose to have this concert on the day of my wedding. Thank you very much.



*sigh*

Maybe my sights are a bit high. But seriously who wouldn't want Johnny Depp carrying a puppy walking onto the stage of your wedding band (aka Dave's band)?

Clearly, no one.

Modern Sexism?

Last year I was jobless and desperate. I was so desperate I was ready to go into....


Retail.


I figured I knew music better than average folk, and so when I walked by the local music shop and noticed it was hiring I walked in to ask for an application.

Do you know what I was told?

No.

I asked why. (apparently pending humiliation does not act as a strong deterrent.)

We don't hire girls.

I asked why again. (I have no shame)

The hours are long.

Sir, I currently work 12 hour night shifts. I can work. (No I do not know WHY I remained there.)

The shifts are dangerous.

I am hardly someone people mess with. *insert angry eyes*

We have a policy to only hire men.

So me and my curvalilciousness marched right outta there.

I vowed to never ever buy anything from there ever again. No matter how great of a deal it was.

But I failed.

The Fi took me on a date on Saturday and before the movie we ravaged this shop like never before. The sale... was astonishing. R10 per CD. That's $1. Per.CD. *sigh* and they weren't terrible CDs. We scored. And I gloated. In front of the the very man who told me last year I couldn't work there. I have no problem helping him lose money. Surely after this sale, the products that don't sell will be put back on the rack for R180. That's R170 you lose dumb Afrikaans chauvinist. Suck on that!

With great thanks to the Fi, I realised my own hypocrisy. I worked as a cocktail waitress previous to this conversation. I was hired on the spot as most waitresses are and I happened to be one of the longest working female waitresses there. For good reason. But I digress.

I overheard one of my managers turn down a girl because she wasn't pretty enough. What kind of discrimination is that? It's crap and I knew it. At that moment I should have quit. I should have waltzed right outta there. But I didn't.

So as I complain that I was born the wrong gender, I myself removed the rights of the other girl by staying there. By enabling those men to pick and choose and even getting an ego trip out, I became no better than the company who refused to hire women.

So while the man sucks on my wicked deal, I gotta suck on my own inadequacies.

*sigh*

Even I contribute to the discrimination in society.

Monday, Monday so good to me

It is Monday, the day of to dos. The day were I sit and notice everything that I have to accomplish before next monday.

This week is my get-important-things-done week. I normally live in Pretoria near the university. Since the last few exams are around the corner (ie next week) I have a week off and are spending it at my folks home. I do not have a South African drivers license and it seems as though my American one is not applicable for some odd reason. I have not been able to get my license because the stupid government run Home Affairs took so freaking long to issue me my identity document. Now that I have such document I can not get a booking for my test. Why? The entire system has been either fully booked or not working. Curse you Murphy. Curse you South Africa!

This week I am hoping desperately for a lift to the licensing department where I can hopefully get my learners. Hoping. Because I am about to get married and I can't legally drive. Lame.

I am hoping to study for my exams. Woo. No, I will be studying for my exams. Not hoping here.

I am hoping to find a less expensive but still GORGEOUS wedding gown. Hoping with strong hopes here....

I am hoping to organise the room my parents have given me after I move out of my flat and before I get married.

And there was one other thing.... Oh yes, I am hoping to sort out my inspirations for blogging in November. I would love to reach 30 posts in 30 days!

Have a fantastic Monday everyone! Get all your hope- to - dos and need- to- dos accomplished so that you can breathe free-er!

Where did the teenage mind go?

The other night I had a dream. It was a beautiful dream with 3 of my favourite celebrities; Sting, Bono, and the ever sexy Johnny Depp. Apparently most people's celebrity dreams are of a sexual nature mine are not so. Since this was my dream the four of us sat around a table ate Chinese food from Po's Kitchen (this is the BEST chinese in Hatfield. The name of the place will forever be shrouded in mystery because I can never rememeber it. It always be referred to as Po's kitchen becuase some Black guy named something I also can't remember who looks like Po on Kung Fu Panada works as the cashier there. He's really cool and great!) Anyway, so there we sat with our chopsticks and we discussed...wait for it... the influx of globalisation.

Unreal. I love studying, honest. I am one of those people who want to know everything I can about the things that I want to know about. But the influx of globalisation? Ouch. I think I am quickly losing my geek to fabulous ratio.

This week is my crazy lunatic week. It is the beginning of exams, and the last few 'midterms' that no one really planned for. Then I learned of a play that I had to write for Thursday. Curses. This play was really haunting me... 10 pages doesn't seem like a lot, until you realise you have no reason to write a play and thus no topic to write about.

After this dream though, I realised my inspiration-Youth Culture. What is it that sets the current youth apart from what I experienced? What is it that I experienced that they do not?

A large theme in the play is the importance of image in youth culture (Not just in the new millinium but even back in the 50s with James Dean and the Teddy Boys). Hillbilly Duhn put it very nicely here.

Another theme is the arbitrary use of profanity and the apparent image created through it. Even the idea of sexuality and religion were tackled.

I found these topics on the front page of a Cosmo. The views of the mag writers are the views in the play and honestly, as I read the play back I can't help but notice how ridiculous it is.It is this way because the culture which it is mocking IS actually ridiculous.

Sometimes I'd much rather dream dreams about globalisation with Sting, Bono and Johnny than live in this alternate reality called society.

Curse you Murphy!!

Karma can be a real hater. Trouble is, I don't really believe in the idea of Karma. Unfortunate. Who else to blame my misgivings? Murphy. Murphy and his stupid laws that ensure that whatever can go wrong will!

A few of the Laws that have recently irritated me to the point of this post:

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks... ever. Not the practical exam. Not the drive home. Nothing.

2. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. Specifically the exam studying. First the pencils must be found. Then the filing. Then the...

3.The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance. Specifically the lecture notes that consists of pure examinable material. Curses...

4.After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original... The flash stick that I lost, got a new one found then lost the bigger better one!

5. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening...

6. Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong! You just haven't been notified... And probably spent the day waiting for it to happen. Then it doesn't because it went way too wrong...

7. The humor of Murphy's Law leaves you laughing at the end of the day. If you make it through a Murphy Day...you win! And boy, have I been winning this week!!!

HA!

Offended by Profanity?

Yesterday we were discussing profanity in the media in my Journalism lecture. The question was raised, 'What is offensive about profanity?' Is the word itself offensive? Or maybe are the connontations we associate with the word offensive?

Even if we think about cultural differences...Words like 'kak' or 'kaffir' don't really offend the Americans, but mean the same as 'shit' and 'nigger'. In South Africa 'moer' is the equivalant to 'f-k' and yet you were probably not offended by seeing it typed out.

When you read my blog, do you feel more offended seeing 'Fuck society' or 'F*** Society'? What is the difference? I feel angry when papers block those three letters- Am I so stupid that I don't really know what you are referring to? Do the children who read that not understanding that stars after a letter means a bad word? Are those three letters what makes readers uncomfortable?

My thoughts? no ways. A word is a word is a word. It is the meaning behind those words that make what you are saying offensive. Whether you say, 'screw you' or the more 'profane' version you are conveying the same meaning. Whether you say Damn it, Dang it or something more original, the meaning is the same.

This alludes to the question then, If my word choice don't affect the offensive level and rather what makes me offended the meaning behind the words, then why choose a less expressive tone? Simple. There is no reason at all. Except connontations don't just apply to words. The people who use these profane words are usually associated with the stereotyped. Profanity is sometimes seen as cheap, unintellegent, and down right grotestque. Is this fair to yourself? Is it acceptable to be judged like this in society? If no what are you doing to do about it?

Ok, so weigh in. What do you think? Tell me your views on profanity...