My own personal moose. And why I dislike him and would prefer a Canadian moose instead.

Ok, I am over my little deppro moment of self reflection and yadda yadda.

Now I would like to tell you all about my own moose. Just in case you didn't pick that up in the title.

All this silliness about Canada and Mooses makes me giggle a thousand times over. Sure it's a fun joke but I actually have a moose as a neighbor.

I kid you not.

Due to privacy resrictions its uncool to post his actual photo here but he looks a lot like this.



Again I kid you not.

He looks like that. Only human. He's my own personal mooseguy.

He's big and clunky and as bright as his dirty fingernails.

I wrote him a letter before I rip out my gullet and slap him across the face with it.

(Because that may or may not be overtly disgusting and painful [both for me and for him])

Dear Moose,

Please keep your mating calls quieter. I live across the street and can still hear you hoopin' and hollerin' from my own bedroom. I understand the natural instinct to breed with every moosette but really, I would prefer to not hear your sexytime parties from my bedroom.

Thank you,

Girl who knows the track that gets you screamin' the loudest.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (moose for Cheers)