Thursday, January 29, 2009

Today is the day of DESTINY!

Meeka, my BFF love, is arriving in a mere 3.459 hours.

Oh, I will be posting photos... So be warned...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tummy aches and Rooibos tea

I woke up yesterday feeling pretty crappy. I pulled myself to work, barely managing to crawl from the desk to the copy machine. But I did it. I managed to eat some dinner and, despite feeling like tossing it, I kept it down. I didn't think it was a problem to stay up until this morning in a desperate attempt to get things ready for when Meeka arrives from the States (which is tomorrow! YAY!). Staying up late was really dumb.

I woke up this morning just before 6 with the tummy ache from Satan himself. My muscles, my tummy, my head, my throat, my eyes and, yes, even my teeth throb with unrelenting aching. But I've got leave taken for my Honeymoon and I can't stay home so here I am at work unable to eat anything. (I'm thinking this might not be a bad thing since I've always wanted to lose a few more dress sizes for my wedding. So maybe not eating will service my goals. hmmm)

In any case, when I am ill I am a sucker for rooibos tea. It's a SA specialty made from some red bush thing (rooibos means red bush. That's the only reason I know that. Here's a handy wiki link. It's fasinating. When you are bored. Only.) and it tastes like nothing I've had before. It's incredible. Like a gigantic party in my mouth.

So I'm going to stop complaining now about how yucky I feel. I will stop rejoicing with the rooi-to-the-bos-to-the-tea. And I will return to working on the Fixed Assets form.

(because it's determining the fixed assets that makes my heart skip a beat)

(And will one day lead to my tragic heart-attack inspired demise)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Humiliating the Aussies.

This morning I got such a beautiful wake up listening to our local radio station. Darren (whackhead) Simpson pranked 2day Fm in Sydney. How brilliant is this?

As payback for recent criticism, Simpson posed as Tom Cruise's crew and claimed to offer Kyle and Jackie O a phone interview with Tom Cruise. 2day FM promoted and prepared for the interview extensively only to find that they had been fooled. The Australian prankers had been pranked by South Africa's very own Prankster. I will admit, Kyle and Jackie O handled the surprise very graciously. Go Darren!

I can't help but wonder (and look forward to) when Jackie O gets Darren back for this wonderful morning guffaw (let's be honest, it wasn't a mere giggle but a "lets get the guy sitting opposite to me in traffic to stare at my open mouth and closed eyes" guffaw)

If you want to listen to the prank yourself, go here.

Oh yes, and didn't South Africa kick the Aussies in the Cricket? I sure think they did.

Friday, January 23, 2009

How off beat are you?

I like to throw spanners. Metaphorical spanners of course... I'm not too sure what an actual spanner actually looks like.

But I digress.

I'm not to into the 'traditionality' of anything. It's a wonder that I stayed in res as long as I did. (My res was really just a sorority with a different name and more booze. And more traditions. and more booze)

This has been a bit of a heater when it comes to the wedding. Well meaning familiy members are concerned about the untraditional elements in my wedding and the strangeness that is me. All I have to say to them is "merr". Which is not an acronym for anything but rather a sound emitted by the non-caring.

I go to church and have piercings and a tattoo. You would probably guess this, so it probably won't come as a surprise, but I have been told no less than 3 times in the last few months that I may or may not be going to Hell for 'disgracing' my temple. Merrr.

All in all, I have elements of myself that do not fit into the classic labels that I have either adopted or been forced into.

But what I am not into is the contest to show off how off beat (weird?!) I am. Not into this. My little bro is big into labels. He's 17. Who can blame him?

This irritates me to no end. If I hear about how 'jock' something is. Or how 'emo' or how freakin' 'preppy' something is, I may or may not rip out my gullet and slap him with it.

My conversations are usually:

Me: What are your opinions of the guy across the street?

Yoshi: He's such a jock I totally hate him.

Me: And his sister?

Yoshi: Ah she's ok.

Me: Why is she ok and not her brother?

Yoshi: *looks at me like my brain is dripping from my ears* because she's metal.

It's fantastic that he says this. Because then I get images of metal people.

I full-on don't understand why you would want to put yourself into a certain label. Every person I have met is more complex than any label.

So I am asking you, (if you are still reading this) what labels have you adopted? Why have you adopted them and why you don't actually fit into this label?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Myself as a six year old

When I was a kid I wanted to be a race car driver/dancer/pediatrician/teacher. I had it all worked out. I even had time in the afternoon after my lunch break to be a beautician if I so desired. There were so many hours in the day without nap time to do things that I desired. I truly believed I had the world at my feet.

And I did.

Despite my confidence at age 6, as I grew taller the days grew shorter. I am nearly 5' 11". The days are freakin' short now.

Age muddles things. Dreams are less clear as we fight cynicism. Things are not bright and shiny and crystally any longer. I no longer know how I will make my contribution to society. I feel fear. I feel regret and I feel hesitation.

Not everything has changed since I was six though. I am still naive. I am still ridiculously sassy. My hair still forms ringlets and despite training myself to stop believing in fairy tales, I do still believe in happy endings.

My happy ending is approaching.

Happy Endings may never be happily ever after. But the Fi is my happy ending. Marrying the Fi is my happily ever after.

(That might just be naive bride-to-be speaking, but go with it people. Just go with it.)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I am de weeeener

I won my first little bloggy award. Thanks to Sco-man for offering it to me! :)

Things have gotten so insane around here that I can hardly breathe. Meeka my BFF is arriving in a mere 9 days and the wedding is in 33. So booyah. I am busy.

Deal with it.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

My own personal moose. And why I dislike him and would prefer a Canadian moose instead.

Ok, I am over my little deppro moment of self reflection and yadda yadda.

Now I would like to tell you all about my own moose. Just in case you didn't pick that up in the title.

All this silliness about Canada and Mooses makes me giggle a thousand times over. Sure it's a fun joke but I actually have a moose as a neighbor.

I kid you not.

Due to privacy resrictions its uncool to post his actual photo here but he looks a lot like this.

Again I kid you not.

He looks like that. Only human. He's my own personal mooseguy.

He's big and clunky and as bright as his dirty fingernails.

I wrote him a letter before I rip out my gullet and slap him across the face with it.

(Because that may or may not be overtly disgusting and painful [both for me and for him])

Dear Moose,

Please keep your mating calls quieter. I live across the street and can still hear you hoopin' and hollerin' from my own bedroom. I understand the natural instinct to breed with every moosette but really, I would prefer to not hear your sexytime parties from my bedroom.

Thank you,

Girl who knows the track that gets you screamin' the loudest.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (moose for Cheers)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I have to admit I frequently think about giving this all up. I am not a brilliant writer. I am not the funniest person on the web. I don't have wonderful insights into human nature and I definitely do not have any more witty commentary on the world.

But I look at my followers list and read the encouraging comments I receive and write the next post. I write for myself in other mediums. I write on this blog for you.

As my writing lecturer said, writing is a form of communication. Communication involves a sender and receiver. Why communicate if the receiver is uninterested? This blog is for you. My awkwardness, my successes and my failures are written here for you.

So thank you for being interested. I have greatly appreciated every one's support and commenting love. As always, know that you are welcome to criticize argue and (obviously) love me!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My newest Love

South Africa is home so so many beautiful musicians.

Dave Matthews was born in Johannesburg. And we all know how I feel about him. Tree63 is from South Africa. Although their *questionable* musicality is another post for another time. Seether (previously known as Saron Gas) is South African. Stealing Love Jones (previously known as Love Jones) are also from good ole , uh here.

Lately it is not those bands that I am in awe with.

The airwaves have been filled with the most extraordinary song.

Prime Circle.

Prime Circle is South African extraordinaire.

Take a listen for yourself. Tell me what you are thinking about it. Personally, I give them a 9.5 *purely because sometimes I'm hard to please*

Monday, January 12, 2009

If you are actually attending the wedding don't you dare read this!

I just LOVE our new design for the table centrepieces and I have got to share them with my design concious amigos. Check these out....

and flowers like these inside....

I am getting super excited now. The Fi and I are getting married next month. Whoa!

Gotta get back to doing the stuff...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Mocking J Crew led to Mocking the biggest geek in the world

Confession Time

I said it.

The Fi and I were walking through a clothing store making fun of J Crew. Look at this:

Um. No. Not. Ever. J Crew. I. Am. Ashamed.

So we're makin' fun. Then I said it.

Referring to various other bloggers who, for some reason, adore J Crew, I mentioned my bloggin friends. Yes, I called you my blog friends.

The man who counts Star Wars and Lord of the Rings in his top 10 movie list, who awaited the arrival of the Xbox 360 version of Assassin. The man who does not understand that wearing an olive t-shirt with black pants and red running shoes is a fashion misstep christened me the geekiest person ever.

I know I have my cultured moments. How can you study English and Art History and not be a bit geeky. But referring to the blogsphere as my friends? Number 1 real world deadly sin.

I'm going to go sit down now.

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Silver Mullet ...I mean Bullet...

Sometimes I enjoy living in South Africa. The sky is more beautiful here than anywhere else I've been. The culture is so diverse that I learn so much everyday about other people. I get to try my hand at 11 different languages of which I have mastered one. English.

I have many reasons why I do not in fact like living in South Africa though.

Top Three Reasons I Hate Living in South Africa

1. Black Empowerment. I am not black. My parents are not well-off. 'nuff said.

2. Theft. Family car was broken into recently. Thankfully we still have our car (unlike last time) and no one was hurt in the process.

3. My Farmer's tan. The walk from the car to work this morning left me with a slightly darker forearm than upper arm. Hooray! Now I look like David Letterman's feet.

Joy of all joys.

Sometimes I count down the years until I move back to the states. Then I watch Gossip Girl and am thankful I am right where I am.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Final Day of Open Heart Surgery Applicants

Today is your last day to send me any questions you have. Remember my address is Sweet. Moving on...

Hillbilly Duhn
is one of the first readers I had. We have become wonderful bloggy friends and this makes me so very happy. Her blog is touching. It's insightful. It's hilarious. Sometimes it's even a little outrageous. I love it. Give her a shout out and tell her that I sent you...

Here's what she asked:

21. You're getting married, what do you think makes a good marriage, one that lasts?

I think a marriage is a bit like a house....

It boils down to the strength of your 'bricks' and the strength of your 'foundation'. I think the difference between the marriages that I have seen succeed and the ones I have seen fail is the strength of the foundation of the relationship.

I think it's also important to meet your partners needs and allow them to meet yours. I think that there is no one thing that makes a good marriage but a lot of daily things. It's the daily thoughtful things that 'cement' (in terms of my metaphor) the house together.

22. Do you have a hero? A person in whom you hold high on a pedestal or one that deserves a credit for the person that you are today?

When I was younger I was very close to my great grandmother. She encouraged my dreams of becoming a writer and would listen to every story I could write for her to hear. She fell very ill and passed away in 2001. It's nearly 8 years later and I still consider her my hero. She taught me a lot about working hard for what I want, even if that means picking raspberries in order to replace your roof. She encouraged me to follow my dreams. I have her photo framed near my writing station because when I feel like this is just one big pipe dream, I think to myself, "she believed in me. I can still make it."

23. Why do you write? Any particular inspiration or just felt compelled?

I have always written. I am not good with words. When I get very enthusiastic I stutter. My grammar is terrible when I speak (hence why it's so bad on this blog!) and I have a very difficult time expressing how I am feeling with my speech. However, when I write properly... I feel as though all the doors are open. As though it is only through my word that people can see who I really am.

Speech can lie. It's fleeting, forgettable and relies largely on body language. Words are permanent. They can be referred to and only depend on one person, the writer.

This is why I write.

24. If you had one gift of word to give to someone, what would the word be?

Hope. There is always hope. Hope does not depend on circumstances.

Sleepyjane another South African blogger sent these questions through. You really should check her blog out as well, because well she's South African and totally awesome! The blog is really cute and filled with random bits of her life. All that ends up being pretty entertaining!

25. If you could choose any talent to be blessed with, anything at all, what would it be and why?

I have never ever been athletic. I blame it on having four toes and a stump that should be a toe. I would love to run fast purely because when I run now I look a bit like Johnny in Pirates of the Caribbean

26. If someone said that they would pay you X amount of money but you are NEVER allowed to blog again, what amount would you accept?

I am really broke. In fact I was thinking how much I could sell an ovary for... Why? Do you have an offer?

27. If you could have been born in any other country, which one would it be and why?

I have an internal love for Italy. Being born there would make me Italian and Italians are beautiful.

And they know yummy food. I mean KNOW. and YUMMY.

Food can just stay uncapitalised there.

28. Tell me something that you are proud of, like some goal you reached?

I've puked in public. Multiple times.

29. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for a day, no strings, would you do it and why?

Yeh. I have always been mystified about the male attraction to skanky whores and the compulsive need to scratch the nether regions in public. It would make a lot of things clearer in my mind.

Plus then I could wear (and get away with wearing) nothing but a baggy pair of sweatpants. i would sit on the sofa with a beer in each hand and burp and scratch until my heart's fufilled. I'm too much of a lady to sit and fart though. ew.

I would say that as a man too. Ew.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

And the madness continues...

Today is the second to last day of my open book opportunity! Surely you are in fact, burning with desire. To ask me a question anyway!

Today's segment is from Ron. His blog is seriously one of my favourites. He writes very passionately and sends me from tears to giggles with each post. The photos he takes are moving and spirited. If you don't go and at least check him out, you will regret it. So go. Right now if you have to.

11. Please elaborate on the title of your blog.

I figured I would get this question. I figure this mostly because I like to think I have physic capabilities. In any case, the title of my blog originates from a quote from Cecil Beaton. He said, "Be daring, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace and the slaves to the ordinary."

This blog is a statement of my inherent need for the ordinary. It is conversations that I have in my daily life. I post random thoughts I have. This blog is a statement towards my own slavery to the ordinary. However, whilst posting about the ordinary and common-place I personally chase purpose, vision and vibrancy. I feel as though this blog is a testament towards the beauty and the joy in daily life.

12. If you could invite three people for dinner, dead or alive, who would they be?

Bertha would chose 3 musicialicious men to enjoy. They of course would be: Johnny, Gordon and Paul for Chinese in order to discuss the impending doom of globalisation.

I would choose to meet with Leonardo De Vinci and Steven King. Gordon can come along too... Then the three of us can discuss art, love, and melding the two.

13. Ever see America's Funniest Home Video's when they show shots of the groom falling over during the vows because he's wasted before the wedding? If that happened to you (god forbid), what would you say to him?

"You are an idiot. Take a friggin' aspirin when you wake up. Alone" That would probably be followed up by an evil laugh resembling "mwahahaha."

14. Iced Tea, sweet or unsweetened?

I like Liptons Peach Ice Tea Light. Technically sweetened, but with rat poison.

15. What's the weirdest thing you've eaten? (Sorry, last question about food).

I am a terribly picky eater. The most exotic I've eaten was a wildebeest. It looked like steak and steak is yummy. Wilde ain't steak. I've also had Kudu, Ostrich and Human. Well the last part is sorta a lie and sorta not.

16. What are you afraid of?

Insects, the dark and Schalk Burger.

I'm afraid.
You should be too.

17. How many times does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll lollipop?

The number of licks it takes to get to the centre of a tootsie pop is directly proportional to the inverse of the degree of the temperature of the atmosphere multiples by the density of your individual whistle calculated by the air wind speed of an Africa Swallow carrying a coconut.

18. Michael Jackson- Better looking before or after plastic?



Must admit I'm kinda into the barbie face there. and look at those full lips contrasting with the pointy nose with the wide eyes... Yum.

19. Ever been kicked out of some place?

Consistently kicked out of the Library... Also been asked to leave a restaurant... And when I say restaurant I mean something else.

20. Why must you hate on my beloved country of Canada?

Because I am a hater. And still have never seen a Canadian moose.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Feeling a little old and dirty...

Happy 100 posts. I have managed to litter the blogsphere with my ramblings for 100 posts. It was very slow going at first but finally I am here in all my exposed-to-the-world glory.

As I promised, I have some questions from ya'll for ya'll that will give you waaay more information about myself than you ever wanted to know.

Sco-man, my ever present bloggy friend emailed these ten questions to me. Go check out his blog. I read it everyday for my dose of giggles. He seriously cracks me up. So go read and enjoy!

1. What would be your reaction if the Fi wanted to play "Highway to Hell" on the way to your wedding?

Obviously it would be perfect! We already have Lit's song- I'm in over my head for the garter toss. If he suggested it I would possibly die laughing and not make it down the aisle.

2. Who was your first celebrity crush?

I blame global warming.

3. Would you invite a werewolf or a vampire to a dinner party?

Have you read Chronicles of a Vampire? Doesn't the curiosity of seeing that and feeling that intrigue you? I suppose I would have two conditions. 1. Not Edward Cullen and 2. Not that guy from x-men. Whatshisname. Wolverine. Their faces are annoying. Unless Wolverine shaved. Then he's in.

4. If you could remove one countries impact on history, which one would you choose and how do you think it would change the world we live in today??

If I could remove one country I would choose Canada. Its like the friggin hat of the US. Who needs a hat? It looks crappy up there anyway.

5. Have you had any experiences with ghosts or haunted houses?

I once thought I saw a ghost when I was in grade 5. It was actually just a really pale woman. Scarred me for life.

6. Looking a bit ahead, what would be the ideal way for you to spend your 10th wedding anniversary?

It would be freakin' brilliant to go to Italy and travel through the rest of Europe. If I can't go to Europe, I'd want to go to Brazil and chill out there with the Hubs.

7. what is your favourite fast food meal?

I'm all about the Mc Flurry baby! And you thought that wasn't a meal...

8. What is the worst injury you have ever had?

I broke my wrist twice. Don't ask how I did either of them. I think though the worst injury to me was the smash to my ego the day I got stuck in the climbing tube at McDonald when I was 7. I wasn't too tall people.

9. What is the strangest name you've heard?

Well done to the Paltrows. I still have not heard a name more stupid than Apple. And I have heard some keepers. Like Ivana. Not so bad? Her surname was Mandick. But Apple wins.

10. Can I stay with you until the heat dies down?

I'm not too sure if you meant to put the Kaiser Chief's lyrics in my brain. But if you did well done. Let's be friends.

Huge thanks to Sco-man! If you wanna get in on the action email me your questions. I of course reserve the right to not answer something but heck, maybe I'll feel generous! Deadline is still the 8th of January.

Feel like some incentive? Free plug not good enough? Give it a shot and you might just grab something fabulously delicious!

Monday, January 5, 2009

The great 100!

This post is my 99th post, meaning my next one will be numero 100!

I have been going back and forth as to what to do to celebrate. I was thinking of giveaways, parties and nothingness but I decided to celebrate a little more lame-ly. (Because I'm lame like that.) You get an opportunity to get to know me better.

I will be answering 100 questions about myself. Dun dun dun! I am giving you, my loyal readers, a chance to ask me anything and I will answer it and give your blog a shameless plug. So ask away.

Send your questions to by 8 Jan to get a chance!

Things that make me blush...

The Fi and I are currently undergoing pre-wedding counselling with our pastor. It has been a very enriching experience as we look at the biblical view of marriage. The Fi and I have chosen to align our marriage as closely as we can with the biblical standard. Not that I will be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen though! I have chosen to allow him to be the responsible party for our family and household, and I will take the position of assistant and helper role in the management of our home.

We are old fashioned about marriage and have also decided to keep various other special things only for marriage.

Our pastor has given us an assignment whereby we have to purchase items that the other person would normally purchase. merrr.

Just thinking of buying these are making me blush. I don't blush easily but when the impending post-nuptials are concerned I light up like a freakin' stoplight.

Hello, my name is Elizabeth and I am scared of the impending humiliation.

I'd rather share my personal life with 10,00 strangers than walk into the store right now.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Definitive moments

I have had several moments in my life that I place in my definitive category. Some I will never find words to express. Some are so deeply entwined in my core that to remove them, analyze them, and reveal them would strip them of their power.

But some of them only have power when stripped open. Some moments yearn to be shared. These have no shame. Like the beggar at the traffic light, they cry out to me. Sobs of fear, regret and desperation are met only by my own heartache and incompetence.

I had another dream about her. Her name was Sali and I first wrote about her here. Lately, she has been invading my subconscious, crying out to be shared.

I met her July of 2008 in a small village in Mozambique called Panhame. Her lifestyle is what you see on National Geographic with little comfort and even less guarantee of tomorrow.

Yet, she aroused no pity from me.

Sympathy, sure. "Man, somebody's gotta do something" sure. Pity? No.

This does not mean that I am immune to the sadness of seeing impoverished people. I felt no pity because she felt no pity.

This was her life. She is 4 or 5 years old and herded her family's goats. She helped her mother with the only meal of the day. She would probably never get an education or learn where babies come from before she was married. This was her life and, at her age, she seemed to accept her life in all its entirety.

I am no photographer but here she is:

And these are my words:

To the girl who aided my heart recovery:


The great expanse of dust packed still
By bare feet trampling
The shadows pool beneath Marula tree
And dusty rocks, undisturbed, watch

Sali toddle across the plain
Heavy laden, haunting eyes
And the beads and bracelets clanking

And she tumbles
Embracing shrouds
The dust- scarlet and steaming

Tear neglected she leapt
To chase the goat
And fade into the blackness.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The New Year has left me Baffled.

This morning family from Dubai arrived for part 2 of their visit. Our home is bustling with new year fever- resolutions that already have been broken and breakfast dishes that need to be washed.

Daily life has continued despite the changing of the calender, as it always does.

I make resolutions differently than most people. I make goals. I use today to define how I wish to live my life this new year. I use it as guidelines. Although I fail to succeed in the 'resolution' completely, every year I grow further into the person I desire myself to be.

This year I will be doing the same thing.

I have a stronger desire to grow this year than last. 2007 and 2008 were years of waiting, of growing in the big P (patience) 2009 is a year of new marriages, new families, new homes, new cities, new jobs, new opportunities. This year will define my character and my virtue.

I have stepped out of most of my 'humanitarian' work (I use that word loosely, as I dislike the connotations of humanitarian workers) in an effort to concentrate on my education (I was too stressed last year with the youth projects and Mozambique outreaches) and my marriage.

All these new things demand my attention and I have to focus on these before I can focus on others.

Proverbs 31 is the guidelines I want to work towards.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good
Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

These words reflect the type of woman I want to become: Rare, Precious, Trustworthy, Kind, Diligent, Joyful, Disciplined, Giving, Prudent, Energetic, Elegant, Helpful, Industrious, Poised, Wise, Praiseworthy, Distinguished, God- Fearing, and eventually Honoured.

Tall order? Yes. Not through me but through Christ.