Love Letters

Dear Nissan,

Why oh why do you install tape decks into post 2000 Almera's. It's uncool. The radio and obscure tapes I happen to have from when I was 8 are really old now.

Please take note. The next car we get will either be silent or equipped with the top of the line Ipod dock. Thank you.

Regards,

Girl who can no longer tolerate Jeremy Mansfield or Garreth Cliff. Nor the Backstreet boys.
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Dear Blogger,

Why do you do your maintenance at 2:00 PDT? This happens to correspond perfectly with my lunch break. The globe just don't run on one timezone.

Sincerely,

South African who likes to eat at 12:00 exactly and type up a post.

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Dear really big coffee cup,

I love you. And I love the copious amounts of coffee inside you.

Love,

Girl who feels overworked today.

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Dear Hubs,

Thanks for staying up late with me last night. It helped me feel more like I am 21 and not 81. Plus you talked me through all my internal issues. Who gets a husband like that?! You are the bomb.

Kisses,

Your 21 year old wife

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Dear Co-worker

If you seriously don't stop talking about food, while I am trying to diet.... i will kill you.

Thanks,

Girl who already has shed 2 kgs and only has fifty million more to go

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Happy hump day you all you out there! Have a better day than I! :)

Words that may not fit sometimes do.

I wrote this as a worthless experiment. It was launched on a separate blog that I am in the process of shutting down.

I want to share it with you.


syntax
syntax
forgot
in the eve of
the tiresome
paragraphs
cant break
beginnings
period.
breaks Love's
trust bonds
and
when the pause
comes
effect
no longer

The one when I tell you about Roast Chicken

A few weeks ago I wanted to know how the roast chicken for our wedding meal would be prepared since they don't offer any tastings. I called our caterers. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi! It's Elizabeth, the bride from the wedding on the 22nd. I have a quick question for you.

Old Afrikaans lady: ok

Me: How do you prepare your roast chicken?

OAL: ok

Me: maybe she didn't hear Sorry, how do you prepare your roast chicken?

OAL: How do we prepare the roast chicken?

Me: Yes. How do you prepare the roast chicken.

OAL: Well, honey, its a roasted chicken.

Me: yes. How do you prepare it?

OAL: Well we cook it in the oven.

Me: Yes but how do you prepare it?

OAL: Well we take it out of the package and put it in the pan and put it in the oven and roast it.

Me: Well, yes, but what do you do with the chicken?

OAL: We put it in a pan.

Me: What recipe do you follow?

OAL: I just told you.

Oh cluck it. They put it in a pan and roast the damn thing.

Update: My mother was disturbed at my conversation and called herself. Turns out it's put in the pan, roasted and served with a wine sauce. Like duh.

Waiting for the Hour to Change...

My BFF is just about to buy her tickets. Yeah baby. She still lives in Oregon, and she's flying down in January. Dom and I have been BFFs since we were 5 years old. There is talk of big changes in her life as well as the big changes in mine. She came down to SA last year and we spent three glorious months, hanging out, getting tattoos and enjoying life. Ak. We had so much fun and I just can't wait for her to come down again. I miss her! As you all know I am no good with the big P. Patience and me are totally opposites. I just want to fast forward until the times I am looking forward to! This is a picture of us at a Lion Park where we got to cuddle with baby lion cubs and try our sexy faces in Safari hats.

It actually reminds me of the Adam Sandler movie Click. Its weird to refer to it, because I actually hated that movie despite it various funny moments. The plot was dumb. But sometimes that is how its like for me. I want a remote to fast forward the days of waiting. Then that famous quote by Lennon strikes me, "Life is what happens while you are making plans." Maybe I'll just live and enjoy. Who ever promised me tomorrow? They say that waiting builds patience. They say but they don't know. I reckon it builds frustration. It builds character. And it builds some incredible moments for memories. So hurry up memories!

Curse you Murphy!!

Karma can be a real hater. Trouble is, I don't really believe in the idea of Karma. Unfortunate. Who else to blame my misgivings? Murphy. Murphy and his stupid laws that ensure that whatever can go wrong will!

A few of the Laws that have recently irritated me to the point of this post:

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks... ever. Not the practical exam. Not the drive home. Nothing.

2. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. Specifically the exam studying. First the pencils must be found. Then the filing. Then the...

3.The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance. Specifically the lecture notes that consists of pure examinable material. Curses...

4.After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original... The flash stick that I lost, got a new one found then lost the bigger better one!

5. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening...

6. Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong! You just haven't been notified... And probably spent the day waiting for it to happen. Then it doesn't because it went way too wrong...

7. The humor of Murphy's Law leaves you laughing at the end of the day. If you make it through a Murphy Day...you win! And boy, have I been winning this week!!!

HA!

Instant Gratification

This morning on my way for my morning cup of coffee I noticed an open box of Lindt chocolate. I have never been one to pass up an unattended open box of chocolates- so I took a tiny little sliver of this seemingly decadent rich chocolate and popped it in my watering mouth. To my surprise my expectant taste buds were met not with a smooth sensual 'party in the mouth' but a powdery, thick, chalky and overall disgusting sensation of pure unsweetened cocoa. Since it dissolved so quickly, I had to experience this feeling of dirt crammed down my oesophagus. I marched into the room of the owner of the chocolate and demanded an explanation...

I like my chocolate to be instantaneously gratifying. I don't care about the health benefits of that disgusting chocolate, nor does it matter that its what all those skinny people in France enjoy. No, I want to shove it into my mouth and have it taste good now.

I never liked Target stores for one reason. When you wanted to return an item, the customer care system involved taking a number. I HATE TAKING NUMBERS! I would rather stand in a line and wait with the others in full view of how much longer I have. Maybe its the logic of the insane, but since I can see the woman with her cart stuffed with things to return and the man with only a blender to take back, I can somehow prepare myself for the wait. But if you tell me to take a number and to take a seat I somehow can't tell how long I must wait. I can't nudge the slowpoke to take the next teller. I must just be patient.

Telling me to be patient rips my insides like vulture ripping open its prey. It hurts. Because I am working on it. I try breathing. I try focusing on something else. I try to practice my 'stop him with a single glance' smile. But I like instant gratification too much if I am perfectly honest and so I'll lose the patience I once claimed...

Hurry Up... and Wait...

I am waiting for a lot. At least that is what I tell myself. I am waiting for the kettle to boil. For my computer to stop being in its semi-broken state. I am waiting for my ID book so that I can actually drive the car I bought and stop relying on other people to get where I want to go. I wait to hear news of when my friends are arriving in town so that I can plan the amazingly awesome things we are going to do. I am waiting for next year so that I can actually study something I want to! I am waiting for deeper things too. Like immense God-given compassion for people… it always seems to elude my grasp. I am waiting for Jesus to finish the massive repair work He’s working on inside me. I am waiting for the day when I don’t think of what an idiot I was and is and the stupid mistakes I committed and commit-I guess I am waiting for the day when the extent of God’s Grace truly hits home.

I was reading through Hosea today and I stumbled upon a verse I had underlined eons ago. (jumping on a tangent) What I thought was interesting was that Hosea is drawing a comparison between Israel and the man the nation was named after (also referred to as Jacob). Jacob had his moments of being an idiot. He was greedy and conniving. He was exiled. However even though he was not perfect, he had an eagerness and thirst to meet and be blessed by God which allowed him to “wrestle with God” and gain the huge blessing from Him. So although Jacob was exiled (as Israel would) he came back with God’s blessing (BONUS!). I guess Hosea is suggesting that Israel would too. Then, enter amazing verse of amazing applicableness to my life…. “But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice and wait for your God always.” {Hosea 12vs6} Wait for your God always...

I think that I am ready to do a lot of things. I really do. I really think I do anyway. My parents have encouraged me to focus on getting married, even asking me the hypothetical question or two. And I think I might be ready for that. But life has a funny way of roadblocking my plans and I am seeing that my life plans are only a huge matter of timing. And I have to wait. Waiting is tough. It takes commitment, perserverance and faith that it will somehow work out...

But I'll wait. And I'll wait. And when all these things come into fruition it'll all be worth the time spent in preparation. Now if you will please excuse me the kettle boiled and I have to go hurry up and wait...