Happy Easter White Ninja Style

I don't feel like I need to share my faith with you today. How cliched! Instead I am giving you a treat- a break from the piousness that easter brings. Enjoy.


(from whiteninja.com)

Happy Easter!

Stood up for Love

I saw this quote from one of my new favourite blogs in South Africa. I can actually read an entire post in one sitting! So go check it out ya'll.

Today she posted this quote: “Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”- Erica Jong

Emotion may play a large role in my life because, often, my emotions are more stable than my logic skills. However, by my very nature I am not an ooshy gooshy person. Things are cut and dry, black, white or grey.

I used to be a cynic. I used to never believe love would or could happen to me.

But I was wrong.

The best things that have ever happened to be were due to love. Whether it is God's love, the Fi's love or the love of my friends and family, love has permanently revolutionised this love cynic into a hopeless romantic. A hopeless romantic who is about to marry her best friend and soulmate.

I stood up for true love this Valentine's Weekend. Suck on that cynics.

Things that make me blush...

The Fi and I are currently undergoing pre-wedding counselling with our pastor. It has been a very enriching experience as we look at the biblical view of marriage. The Fi and I have chosen to align our marriage as closely as we can with the biblical standard. Not that I will be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen though! I have chosen to allow him to be the responsible party for our family and household, and I will take the position of assistant and helper role in the management of our home.

We are old fashioned about marriage and have also decided to keep various other special things only for marriage.

Our pastor has given us an assignment whereby we have to purchase items that the other person would normally purchase. merrr.

Just thinking of buying these are making me blush. I don't blush easily but when the impending post-nuptials are concerned I light up like a freakin' stoplight.

Hello, my name is Elizabeth and I am scared of the impending humiliation.

I'd rather share my personal life with 10,00 strangers than walk into the store right now.

The New Year has left me Baffled.

This morning family from Dubai arrived for part 2 of their visit. Our home is bustling with new year fever- resolutions that already have been broken and breakfast dishes that need to be washed.

Daily life has continued despite the changing of the calender, as it always does.

I make resolutions differently than most people. I make goals. I use today to define how I wish to live my life this new year. I use it as guidelines. Although I fail to succeed in the 'resolution' completely, every year I grow further into the person I desire myself to be.

This year I will be doing the same thing.

I have a stronger desire to grow this year than last. 2007 and 2008 were years of waiting, of growing in the big P (patience) 2009 is a year of new marriages, new families, new homes, new cities, new jobs, new opportunities. This year will define my character and my virtue.

I have stepped out of most of my 'humanitarian' work (I use that word loosely, as I dislike the connotations of humanitarian workers) in an effort to concentrate on my education (I was too stressed last year with the youth projects and Mozambique outreaches) and my marriage.

All these new things demand my attention and I have to focus on these before I can focus on others.

Proverbs 31 is the guidelines I want to work towards.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good
Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

These words reflect the type of woman I want to become: Rare, Precious, Trustworthy, Kind, Diligent, Joyful, Disciplined, Giving, Prudent, Energetic, Elegant, Helpful, Industrious, Poised, Wise, Praiseworthy, Distinguished, God- Fearing, and eventually Honoured.

Tall order? Yes. Not through me but through Christ.

The Naked Truth

Prompted by Hillbilly's contest I have been thinking a lot about my expression of truth.

It really baffled me. How do I express truth? When has truth been best expressed to me? What is truth? How do I know that it is true? And worst of all how the heck am I going to communicate this to a gaggle of strangers?

And so I thought. A lot. And I worked out clearly what I know truth is NOT.

I really don't buy into relativism. The thought that truth is transient doesn't fit well with me. I am transient. I am fleeting. My mortality encourages my search for truth that is steadfast, unwavering, and strong.

My closest experience to Truth was when I was taking a picnic in the Pilansburg Mountains. I wandered off by myself exploring and found a spot on a gigantic rock overlooking a scene much like this one.

I looked out. The wind picked up and threatened to throw me over. The jutting dead trees littering the ground deep below me offered little comfort. For a brief moment,vertigo gripped me fiercely.

I panicked.

I was going to fall.

In my panic I looked to my feet. They were firmly planted. The rock had been my support and I was, in fact, in no danger. I sat there for a while because, despite being on a cliff overlooking a kilometer plummet, I was completely secure. I was not going to fall.

Truth to me has inherent religious connotations. I have no shame in saying I put my trust and my hope in Jesus Christ. This is rock solid. This is stable. This has found me completely secure in my situation. Much like how I felt on that rock in the Pilansburg, despite the immediate danger I am facing, I am safe. The truth is that when the wind dies down and the sun beats upon my face once again, my feet will remain firmly planted in truth and I will not fall.

Sources of Inspirations...

The other day I stumbled across my little book of inspirations. It is a small purple book that my very good friend gave me for my 18th birthday.

Elle is from the UK and she came to South Africa to do some missions work. She got here when there was a lot of chaos in the organisation she was aligned with and it turned out she had no place to stay after a short time here. She 'randomly' met my mother (God was the mastermind behind that meeting!) and we 'happened' to have a spare granny flat (See, totally God!) and she was able to live with us for a few months.

During this time, I was going through some personal identity issues. I was in matric and was trying to decide on my future, I had troubles at school and I needed to work through a lot of issues with God. Elle knew me while my inner self was in complete turmoil. When I would not find a Godly solution to my problems it was Elle who would take me into her beach buggy and drive me around listening and giving advice.

She is my 'adoptive' big sister. My insides giggled when I found this book. I was reading through it seeing notes I made about Confucius and hopelessness. The last note I made was a quote by Mark Twain. I think that God used this thought as one of the stepping stones to bring me to where I am today.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

It was this line of thinking that has brought me into crazy frenzies of bad decisions. This rebellion led me to nothings. Life lost colour. God has used this to ultimately bring me even closer and firmer to Christ and his love, mercy and grace.

My favourite verse is John 10:10 which reads, "The thief comes to kill and destroy, but I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full." I searched for a full life. I looked everywhere. I found it in Jesus Christ. When the clock turns 10:10am/pm I am reminded of Jesus' promise. Through him I receive life fuller, grander and in more abundance than I can ever receive anywhere else.

Wedding Blues...and Reds... and Browns...

So here I am procrastinating writing that article, reading that play and finishing that novel. So I'll do more constructive procrastination. I am trying to decide what types of centerpieces I want in the middle of each table on THAT day. Thinking I was a pretty easy-going low maintenance kinda gal, I thought that this whole decision making bit would be a breeze. It turns out that I am not so low maintenance. I am, in fact, not so easy going. And, in conclusion, I am not very good at making decisions.

I knew what I had wanted. I wanted three glass jars with swirled flowers on the inside. Now after searching through tons and tons of images of how other people did it I am not too sure what I want anymore. All these options just seem to bog my once clear and concise vision.

Yes of course I realise I am talking about frivolous things here. Trust me when I say that I realise the significance of my wedding does not lay in centerpieces, cake designs, or even (yes I'll say it) my dress. My beauty will not make the day a success. A three tiered chocolate ganache with white chocolate filigree will not make my day a success. And no, not even swirled flowers in fish bowls will not make it a success despite what these wedding planners and 'aides' say.

Things that will make my day a success are not even things that I can possibly plan. The moment that David and I come before God and announce our love and commitment to each other and to a continuation of serving Him together... That is what makes the day a success. My family and friends joining together to celebrate the idea of love and marriage as it relates to Christ and His church - that is what will make the day a success. I know it is weird to say and oh so contrary to what everyone one else says... My wedding is NOT about me. It might be a very special day, but our marriage is merely a symbol to far greater and sweeter things.

That is my vision for our wedding day. To celebrate not just my love, but their love. And ultimately to celebrate Jesus' love for us.

....And of course to have a fabulous time doing so :)

So no. I don't know what kind of centerpieces I am going to have. I don't know how the cake is going to look and curses, I still haven't finished the song list for the DJ. But at least my vision is concise again and maybe that will help keep things in perspective.

Seeking Truth

Step away. Keep your distance I can’t be what you want me to be. Right now there are things inside I don’t want you to see. So take your personal spotlight, shine it on someone else for awhile I can’t force a happy face and make sure it makes you smile. I can’t deny what I see or what I feel or what’s in front of me. So take your world of precious moments of make-believe that never made me believe in anything and left me with nothing to hold onto. Your quick fix and magic tricks can only disguised what I was going through. Now I am thinking it was, when it wasn’t. And now I am trying to rationalise what doesn’t come together and somehow doesn’t make sense. But, how can I convince them if I’m not even convinced? Everyone’s thinking it but no one is saying it, everyone’s saying it but no one is feeling it. Everyone’s feeling it but nobody’s seeing it so tell me how am I supposed to know what’s real?

~John Rueben

My sister is constantly looking for her shoes. No matter where she puts them, they somehow get separated by the shoe-stealing-monster that lives in our house. She’s not the only one either—my mom is forever searching for her keys. Even when put away, these keys grow legs and party around the house-never to be found again. It’s ridiculous but true. Everyone is always searching for something. Me, I searched for truth. And I found it when I found Jesus.

When you listen to the radio, you hear people lamenting over lost love and forgotten friends. The majority of the songs on the radio are dark, depressing and mournful. Dudes are rocking out singing words like these ones, “How am I supposed to know what’s real?” The emptiness that echo in the lyrics to that song resonate so deeply. My generation is searching for real truth.

Personal truth, sexual truth, spiritual truth- these are the topics you find inside the glossy magazines targeted at the 20-somethings. "How to be happy and fufilled" "how to find your own personal truth." We are told to look inside ourselves or to find fufilment through meditation. Some turn to their own personal power through Wicca, Buddism or Kabala and others to the media-fed new-aged mish mash of the three and yet they all have turned up empty. Obviously, 'Personal Power' is not an authentic truth- if it were they would not still be aching for authenticity.

I have a good friend who loves song lyrics. She searches them for bits to use in daily conversation and to justify her complex and confused spirit. One band said it best, "It's the wrongs that make the words come to life." Its the evils her personal life that make their lyrics authentic. But The Truth isn’t found in the lyrics of Metallica. Or Fall Out Boy.

Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life.” Jesus IS the truth. The Truth was nailed to the cross as payment for your sins—for my sins. The Truth defeated death and lives. When you find Jesus, you find the Truth. Its off your shoulders, no more searching, no more looking. Its right there. Its a solid truth- its not going to change with the newest passing fad.

This A.W. Tozer was quoted, “Without the way there is no going. Without the truth there is no knowing. Without the life there is no living.” Meaning without Jesus you have nothing worth anything. So seek the Truth. Seek Life. Seek Jesus- and find fufillment.

Resistance...

I am an ex-creature of the commonplace. By my very nature I do not like change. I resist and persist and will utterly refuse any type of alteration of routine. Yet, 3 years ago I was uprooted from my comfortable surburbian lifestyle in the United States and seemingly dumped in South Africa.To say the least my life drastically changed; no more 24 hour shops, or drive thru coffee shops. No more familiar faces, familiar cultures, familar languages... No more. And I resisted.

But I've adapted, as people tend to do- and began to desire change. I want to live, breathe and experience life to the fullest. Jesus once said, The thief comes to kill and destroy, but I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10). It's that fullness of life eternal that I look forward to...