Dear Anon

Dear Anon,

It is too bad you didn't place more information about yourself in the post. I would love to find out where you live, what you do and what makes you tick.

I don't have a problem defending my views. In fact, I want to thank you for calling me on not defending my statements in Tia's blog.

I will not debate theoretical jargon regarding the pharmaceutical companies. In my experience this does not assist the issue in anyway. Theory is not practicality.

I have lived in South Africa since 2004. I have seen things that most Americans only see on the television. I know more people who have died from AIDS related disease than people who have not. This is an excerpt from Avert - an international AIDS charity. On their page they say,

"It is difficult to overstate the suffering that HIV has caused in South Africa. With statistics showing that almost one in five adults are infected, HIV is widespread in a sense that can be difficult to imagine for those living in less-affected countries. For each person living with HIV, in South Africa and elsewhere, not only does it impact on their lives, but also those of their families, friends and wider communities.

With anti retroviral drug treatment, HIV-positive people can maintain their health and often lead relatively normal lives. Sadly, few people in South Africa have access to this treatment. This means that AIDS deaths are alarmingly common throughout the country. It is thought that almost half of all deaths in South Africa, and a staggering 71% of deaths among those aged between 15 and 49, are caused by AIDS. So many people are dying from AIDS that in some parts of the country, cemeteries are running out of space for the dead.A recent survey found that South Africans spent more time at funerals than they did having their hair cut, shopping or having barbecues. It also found that more than twice as many people had been to a funeral in the past month than had been to a wedding.

As well as the death and suffering that HIV has caused on an individual and community level, South Africa’s AIDS epidemic has also had a substantial impact on the country’s overall social and economic progress:

• Average life expectancy in South Africa is now 54 years – without AIDS, it is estimated that it would be 64. Over half of 15 year olds are not expected to reach the age of 60.⁵
• Between 1990 and 2003 – a period during which HIV prevalence in South Africa increased dramatically – the country fell by 35 places in the Human Development Index, a global directory that ranks countries by how developed they are.
• Hospitals are struggling to cope with the number of HIV-related patients that they have to care for. In 2006 a leading researcher estimated that HIV-positive patients would soon account for 60-70% of medical expenditure in South African hospitals.
• Schools have fewer teachers because of the AIDS epidemic. In 2006 it was estimated that 21% of teachers in South Africa were living with HIV.^"

South Africa is country with a strong economy, 'first-world' infrastructure and is only one of 61 territories in Africa. I know that this is not the only country in Africa struggling with this pandemic. I have been to rural villages in Mozambique and informal settlements in Swaziland. The impact of HIV/AIDS in these countries are heartbreaking to the same degree.

Yes, I realise that there are a plethora of reasons why the AIDS rate is so outrageously high. Poverty, Government inaction and ignorance/social stigma of AIDS victims all contribute to the frightening statistics. However, I cannot ignore that those with the power to help this situation do not assist with the power they are capable of. Those who help with all the fervour they contain just cannot do enough. If the pharmaceutical industry made less profit on AZT cocktails and other powerful industries also did their bit, Africa will not be in the same deadly situation. I realise they try, but their attempts are greatly undermined by their lust for profit and success.

Holzer Art

This is from one of my favourite American conceptual artists, Jenny Holzer. Being a writer at heart I adore the way she used words in her art. No longer is art a picture, but it is something so incredibly broader. Some other Holzer works:


Fabulous! Love it?

And my favourite:
Ok and my other favourite (c'mon these are way too fabulous to just love one or two or three!)
So I have to be honest. I don't actually know the sites where I got these pictures from. I have been compiling her work for a while now and have completely lost the URLs for each pic. But they are awesome. yay!

Political Venting.

Today I went to the oriental plaza. It is a market with items supposedly imported from the orient and is sold to you by Indians. Most of them have never seen the Orient despite their ancestors being from India, but heck, who would notice, right?

Anyway, I am walking down the plaza strip and something catches my eye. It's a green flag with a picture of Thabo Mbeki on it. In case you don't follow SA politics, here is what has bee occurring recently:

Mr. Mbeki is the ex-president of South Africa by like 2 weeks. He was recently unceremoniously ousted from presidency because it was discovered that he was neck high in corruption bullshit. A few hours after the 'resigning' of Mr. Mbeki, a new president was sworn in to serve the remaining time of Mbeki's term. No one who this guy was, nor did they know how to pronounce his name. Kgalema Motlanthe is now the newest, non-elected president of South Africa.

Why was some random sworn in instead of a 'vice president'? The short answer: because this is Africa. South Africans do not vote in a person, they vote in a party. The ANC is the political party in power since Apartheid and the president of the ANC should be the next in line. But this wasn't the case.

Jacob Zuma is the president of the ANC. Unfortunately, he was unable to be sworn in due to his... being in court. Zuma has been in court numerous times. Once for rape and was strangely and almost OJ Simpson-like acquitted. During this particular case he made a statement that will forever and ever cast him in the stupid box. After having unprotected sex with an HIV positive woman, Zuma claimed he would not get the HI virus because he...wait for it... took a shower afterwards. A second time Zuma was charged with fraud and corruption. And was strangely and almost OJ Simpson-like acquitted. Recently he was again charged with corruption except this time in the same 'deal' that Mbeki was ousted for. Yet Zuma was acquitted on a legal technicality.

So enough of the (somewhat biased) politics 411. Back to the green flag... under the Mbeki flag was the exact same flag reading 'Long live Zuma, South Africa's next president'. The shop owner was a Zulu man with obviously strong communist leanings. It just echoes the thousands and thousands who rallied outside Zuma's court cases, violently protesting the apparent misrepresentation of Zuma. The ANC Youth League President even stated publicly, "I will kill for Zuma." In Africa we do not take such statements lightly.

What I do not understand is why so many people of colour choose to continue voting for the same party that continues to screw them over. The economy has plummeted (yes I know that recent economic struggles are due to worldwide issues) since the fall of Apartheid. Less indigenous people have decent paying jobs than during Apartheid. The ANC promised housing for every previously disadvantaged (ie Black) person in South Africa and has barely housed 100 000 Black families. The electricity shortage has not improved in the least as now 10 years after Aparteid there has been little maintenance done on the power stations and little planning on the consumption thus, the only power company is increasing the electricity to up to 60% with 3 hour blackouts weekly. Uncool guys. Very uncool.

Ultimately, the only joys I get out of thinking about politics are, local cartoonist, Zapiro's satirical cartoons found in the Mail and Guardian. This cartoon was published Oct 3 2008. It features the new president Kgalema Motlanthe at the desk and Jacob Zuma (the man under the infamous shower) in the shape of an iguana with the ANC youth League riding his back.
Yes. Politics stink. Bullshit stinks more. And that's all I have to say about that one.

Thank you!

So today I firstly want to thank those of you who actually are reading my posts. A special thanks to Artistic View, my first and (currently) only follower and commenter. :) Keep 'em coming! And if you are reading me then why aren't you putting in your say? C'mon! Be contrary or share whats happening to you that somehow relates. Or doesn't. Just post it!

So the fiance just pulled into the driveway. I gotta go open the steel gate granting him access to my folks' home (oh the joys of living in South Africa! ) Toodles!

Wedding Blues...and Reds... and Browns...

So here I am procrastinating writing that article, reading that play and finishing that novel. So I'll do more constructive procrastination. I am trying to decide what types of centerpieces I want in the middle of each table on THAT day. Thinking I was a pretty easy-going low maintenance kinda gal, I thought that this whole decision making bit would be a breeze. It turns out that I am not so low maintenance. I am, in fact, not so easy going. And, in conclusion, I am not very good at making decisions.

I knew what I had wanted. I wanted three glass jars with swirled flowers on the inside. Now after searching through tons and tons of images of how other people did it I am not too sure what I want anymore. All these options just seem to bog my once clear and concise vision.

Yes of course I realise I am talking about frivolous things here. Trust me when I say that I realise the significance of my wedding does not lay in centerpieces, cake designs, or even (yes I'll say it) my dress. My beauty will not make the day a success. A three tiered chocolate ganache with white chocolate filigree will not make my day a success. And no, not even swirled flowers in fish bowls will not make it a success despite what these wedding planners and 'aides' say.

Things that will make my day a success are not even things that I can possibly plan. The moment that David and I come before God and announce our love and commitment to each other and to a continuation of serving Him together... That is what makes the day a success. My family and friends joining together to celebrate the idea of love and marriage as it relates to Christ and His church - that is what will make the day a success. I know it is weird to say and oh so contrary to what everyone one else says... My wedding is NOT about me. It might be a very special day, but our marriage is merely a symbol to far greater and sweeter things.

That is my vision for our wedding day. To celebrate not just my love, but their love. And ultimately to celebrate Jesus' love for us.

....And of course to have a fabulous time doing so :)

So no. I don't know what kind of centerpieces I am going to have. I don't know how the cake is going to look and curses, I still haven't finished the song list for the DJ. But at least my vision is concise again and maybe that will help keep things in perspective.

Having kids

Two or so months ago my folks had an awesome business opportunity. My father owns his own company and this business has done EXTREMELY well. I actually can't believe it. There are now 4 almost 6 employees (I currently work there when needed and my fiancee might just be working there in the next few months as well as some random sales guy.) They will be open two years in March. I know. It's impressive. They were offered an all expense paid trip to Germany from their suppliers and, well, hello they totally took it. They left on Tuesday. Since it is holiday time I am back at my folks house from University and my kid sisters are home from school. I'm of course playing mommy while our mother is away.

Meet the sisters...

Allison is 9. She is a goodie-two-shoes who will do anything to make sure you still like/love her. Melody is 7. She on the other hand... oi. She's too much like me. She tells me today while we are walking to the supermarket that her greatest desire at this moment is to cross the street while the little red man is up. Because he can't make her not cross the road. I said, "Mel, there are cars driving when the red man is up. He's trying to protect you." She replies, "Well. I still want to. One day I will. And I'll show him." Glory.

They push, bite and kick each other. They pester me while I am working. Over- all this whole pretend mom thing sucks. Not that I haven't ever done it before, but then I had grown accustom to being at home. Now. Man. If it were up to me, and I didn't l-o-v-e the idea of being a pregnant woman carrying the child of the man I love.... I would never ever ever have a child. I feel as though I have been a second mother to these two- I am 11 and 13 years older than them. And I think I've got a pretty good idea of motherhood. No thank you. Until I see that pregnant lady waddle by. And I look at the Fiance and sigh, "Let's have a baby someday..." And he looks at me and agrees. Sooner than later. But just not too soon. After all, by the time the folks return and I go home this week might have burned some serious physiological skin.

Not dead yet.

One of my favourite films is Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. It inspires memories of my childhood friends and our silliness and joy. No longer am I that little girl, in fact since I have last posted I have moved out of the house (at least 5 days of the week anyway). I've began pursuing my dream of becoming an established author in University. I have learned to cook and housekeep. Two months ago my boyfriend of a year and a few months asked me to be his wife. And I said yes. Now we are running around celebrating love and joy. Our wedding is planned for February and while I battle with the shop holding my dress hostage I often reflect on these moments of silliness.

One of my favourite scenes in the Search for the Holy Grail is when the man pulling a trolley cries out 'bring out your dead.' On this trolley are piles of corpses. One man approaches with a body over his shoulder and the body is crying 'I'm not dead yet!' It is hilarious and if you have not yet seen it I recommend you do.

I so often feel like that body crying out. I am not dead yet. I am getting married not dying. As my friendships change and my relationship with my family adjusts I feel like screaming out 'I'm not dead yet!' I naively expected everything to remain as it was- Late night parties, singstar competitions and weekend family dinners. And while there are still these things, it has changed. They morphed into somethingI hardly recognise.

Something else has changed. Currently, despite being treated like an invalid, there is lots and lots of intoxicating joy. And this joy seems to morph into a deeper and more subtle joy. A joy I have never experienced. And my heart again cries out 'I'm not dead yet!' With this joy I will prove my life. With this joy I will scream my lungs out crying, 'I'm not dead yet!' Because I'm not. There is still much life to live within this body. I am still young. Breathing comes easy. Suck it in.